So many of my friends and family have new babies or are currently pregnant and it is so exciting to see them enter the world of mommyhood! I am so fortunate to have two beautiful girls I get to love. It is a dream of mine to add in that special little baby that Dan and I get to share together. Not many women share their infertility problems, but I had to share a letter written from my heart.
To my future baby,
Your sister made you a beautiful self portrait all swaddled in a blanket. It makes me really emotional to think about. Adilynn is so excited to become a big sister and she asks me often if you're in there because mommy already has a big belly. But you aren't and I can't just *poof* here's your baby brother (Adi wants you to be a boy). I want to give her the world and I want to give you life. I want to teach you how to crawl, to walk, and watch your face when we feed you for the first time. I want to smell that scent of freshly bathed baby. Then I have to remind myself that dream may never come true. Adilynn may never be a big sister and I have to be ok with that. You may be an unanswered prayer and I have to stay thankful for what I do have. Daddy tells me that maybe we found each other after your sisters were born because we'd never be able to have our own together; that thought is heart breaking. Take your time up there in heaven. Your family loves you dearly. We can't wait for you and we won't give up hope you become our miracle baby.
P.S. I really hope your head isn't as big as Adi's drawing!